Here we go again…

I am truly in “random” mode right now, flitting from one topic to another. Forgive me for my lack of consistency! You are just getting a peek into my mind…yes, it can be scary at times…pray for me, would ya? :o)

Anyway, I don’t even know where to begin. This topic I am about to revisit is huge and personal and touchy and something that I would rather forget. But it is something I am continually brought back to, and I guess I will not escape as long as I live in this skin I’m in.

The issue is race.

I have talked about this many times before, and most of the time I would rather not. But it is a point of contention in my heart – it is a deep soul ache that I cannot seem to soothe away easily. And so, I must engage this topic yet again. Pray for me.

I recently listened to a message that was first introduced to me about a year ago. It is a message that Thabiti Anyabwile gave at a T4G conference (for my summary and initial thoughts on this message, click here; for the message itself, click here). I won’t go into the reasons I searched out this message again; but I will walk through some of my thoughts, some of the things that this new hearing of the message has caused me to ponder.

Anyabwile’s primary thesis is this: the foundation of our worldview in terms of how we see ourselves and other people is deeply flawed and inadequate. Specifically speaking, the idea of race as biological difference does not in reality exist. Please hear clearly what he is not saying: he is not saying that the differences do not exist, but that our explanation of those differences doesn’t exist. And, most importantly for Christians, this foundation is built on an unbiblical set of assumptions that undermine the authority and sufficiency of Scripture, and could very well undermine the Gospel itself. For these reasons, we need to completely remove this rubric of race from our thinking and replace it with a more biblical set of assumptions about identity. The rubric he embraces is ethnicity, which includes such things as “language, nationality, citizenship, culture and perhaps religion”.  As I said the first time I talked about this message, I highly commend it to you – there is so much to this message I would be hard pressed to do it justice in this entry.

In his message, he expounds on the truth that our biological identity is rooted in Adam – we all share biological solidarity with Adam and Eve, our first parents. This reality is not rooted in the Fall, but in the creation of man, male and female, in the image of God. This is the foundation upon which our identity must be grounded. Because, although there are indeed difference across ethnicities, our shared identity as human beings made in the image of God is our unifying truth. For the Christian, this is more deeply expressed in our union in Christ, where God has created a new man, breaking down the wall between Jew and Gentile (of which all non-Jewish ethnicities belong by the way) and becoming our peace. The cultural identity of this new man is one of holiness and righteousness in Christ, as God works to conform us to the image of His Son. This is the basis of our unity, and our identity, and should determine and inform how we view our earthly identities of ethnicity/race.

I explain this at length because this message has had a profound effect on the way I think about race – and how much I desire to remove this distinction from my vocabulary and the way I see myself and others. As Anyabwile puts it, the “trajectory of race” does not lead to unity, because it exalts our differences instead of focusing on our common humanity. Race as biology is deeply personal, and any discussion or racial distinctions can be heard as an ad hominem attack on the person, leading to division.

I would have to say that I am a living example about how physical difference cannot be used to determine racial identity. Those who know me know that I am very fair-skinned. It’s not always evident what “race” I belong to just by looking at me. My biological makeup would include a host of difference “races”, although I am forced to identify with only one. What determines which is dominant? Cultural forces demand that I identify myself as Black, and I would never back away from that identity (and not for biological reasons, but cultural ones; I will discuss that in a later post). But is it a “racial” distinction? Is marking my identity in this very narrow view of race really helpful?

The bottom line? This idea of race as we understand it is distinctly American. It is completely foreign to biblical thought, and woefully inadequate in engaging all the different cultures and ethnicities that are represented in America today. Historically, race has been about Black and White – but more and more the ethnic makeup of America makes these categories way too constricting. Not to mention they leave no room to engage people of Native American, Hispanic or Asian descent, except to assign them their own “color” – Brown, Red, or Yellow and so forth. Trying to fit people in neat categories of racial distinction denies the richness of ethnic identity. I need to be clear here that I am not an advocate of “multiculturalism” as it is so popularly espoused on many liberal university campuses today. What I am trying to demonstrate is that this rubric of race is woefully inadequate in explaining the differences that are real across, and even within, ”races” as we commonly understand them – and it serves more as dividing lines than a point of unity.

Bringing this into the context of the body of Christ, what shall be our governing principle in defining who we are? I argue that our identity in Christ should trump our ethnic identity. Notice I did not say it should remove it – but it should govern how we view it. The way that race is defined creates a barrier for that. Because race is so rooted in personhood, the idea of asking a person to subordinate their racial identity to their identity in Christ can sound or feel like an attack on the individual, a swallowing or taking away of personhood instead of a liberating invitation into the new reality of who we are in Christ. How do we move past that?

I will not pretend to hold the keys to this aspect of the kingdom if you will, but I constantly wrestle with these thoughts, and they needed an outlet…so, here we go again… 

More to come…maybe on this topic, maybe something else. Who knows but the Lord…(sly grin)…

Grace and peace…

Are we there yet………?

I have drifted back into silence again…mainly because the things I have been pondering lately as it pertains to this journey through my True Woman meditations has been deeply personal. And, my golden rule: I never get too personal on my blog, unless directed by the Lord. He has not so directed me; thus, my silence.

But I did have a thought today as I was reading and praying that I wanted to share. How do you “wait” well? Because, let’s face it: one constant in the Christian life is the notion of “waiting”. We wait on the Lord – and it is always inevitiably because He works much “slower” than we anticipate or most of the time would want Him to. He rarely works on the same timetable as we do - although, as I heard many times over growing up in the church, “He may not come when we want Him to, but He’s always on time!” How true that is – and how I appreciate that more and more as I grow in my relationship with the Lord.

When I consider this idea of waiting, one word comes to mind: patience. Let me state the obvious for those who know me well: patience is not a strength for me. And when I pray for it, I’m always in for a bumpy ride – because God always answers our prayers for patience with something that will try us. Patience does not grow in times of ease – patience must be tested and tried in the fire to be refined. And so, you are asking for it in spades when you pray for patience! But, it is indeed a characteristic of the fruit of the Spirit, and so it is in there – we must cooperate with the Lord as He seeks to bring it to full bloom in our lives.

Back to this question of waiting well…the fruit of patience must be allowed to grow in my life if I am to wait well. This hearkens back to what I wrote about meekness and humility – patience and waiting imply bowing the knee. Accepting God’s will, God’s timing, and God’s ways as good – as best actually – for the given situation in which I find myself waiting. Because He can see much more clearly than I – He has the totality of the situation in view, whereas I can only see the moment in which I am existing. And from His view He knows better than I what I need and when I need it. He also knows the purposes for which He is calling me to wait.

This is all well and good, but how do I go about being patient, meek and humble in those times of silence and waiting? What I finally rested on is that it is a simple matter of trust. Trusting the Lord’s heart; trusting His goodness; trusting His will. Trusting that He is sovereign, He is holy, He is righteous, He is pure…and He will withhold no good thing from me as His child. Also knowing that His purpose for me is holiness, not happiness (although, it is in that pursuit of holiness that I will find true, lasting happiness; but that’s a topic for another day…)…and He will do what He knows will bring about that result.

And hasn’t He done so for me so many times before? Remembering and meditating on the goodness of God will help me wait well…

So, when I find myself in those moments of impatience; when I’m throwing a temper tantrum and wagging my finger at the Lord saying, “Father, when…Father, why…”; I must ask myself if I am trusting Him in that moment. The answer is always no! I want what I want and I want it NOW! And really, if I were honest, now is not soon enough for me because my impatience is born of the idea that I should have gotten my way ages ago! How grateful I am that the Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. How grateful I am that the Lord is long-suffering (the KJV phrase for patience – I love that!) – because He certainly suffers long with me!

And when I have finished, and I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, exhausted and nearly hyperventilating from crying so hard, eyes puffy and make up gone, I am usually amazed by the Lord’s response. He doesn’t point out to me how ridiculous I look (because most of the time, it’s quite a pitiful sight!). He gently and lovingly reminds me that if I wait on Him, it will be okay. He gently calls to my mind those times and those ways He has done so before, and assures me that He will do so again.

Now, there is a certain element of melodrama to that description, but it is true that I can indeed throw “temper tantrums” with the Father. And one of the things I love so much about the Lord is how gently He restores me when I get to this place. He picks me back up, and reminds me that He is Lord and Father, and I can trust Him. His way is best; He loves me, and is working all things for my good. He is working, even though I cannot see it. And I just have to…………wait.

More later…

Grace and peace…

The glory of grace

I love the book of Romans. This week I decided to read through Romans slowly – and out loud. Yes, I sit in my room at night and read out loud to myself. And it has been a wonderful exercise that I commend to everyone. I cannot tell you how many times I have read through Romans – again, it’s my favorite book in the entire Bible. But the other night as I was reading through Romans 3, I was overwhelmed with joy, as if I had never picked up the Bible before in my life!

I came to the end of chapter three and read these words:

Where, then, is boasting? It is excluded. On what principle? On that of observing the law? No, but on that of faith. For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from observing the law. Is God the God of Jews only? Is he not the God of Gentiles too? Yes, of Gentiles too, since there is only one God, who will justify the circumcised by faith and the uncircumcised through that same faith. Do we, then, nullify the law by this faith? Not at all! Rather, we uphold the law. (3:27-31)

Paul has just finished demonstrating the hopelessness of our situation apart from Christ. Earlier in chapter three he reminds us that there are none who are righteous – not even one. All stand condemned before God because all have sinned. If you were to begin reading Romans and stop at 3:20, you would truly be depressed! It is a hopeless, dismal picture that he paints. But he does not stop there – in fact, he uses this very dismal picture to set us up for the truly wonderful good news that he will spend the rest of the epistle expounding – that the righteousness of God is a gift from Him, by His grace, through the redemption that comes through Christ Jesus (3:24).

Now, this is the basic message of the Gospel – something I have known (and sometimes, to my shame take for granted), but what truly gave me pause was the relationship of the law to this beautiful gospel that he is presenting.

 As I read through this chapter, I saw the beauty of the law in a way I never have before. Paul said that through the law we become conscious of sin (3:20). The law -what law is he referring to? The law that God set forth for us in His Word, mainly in the Old Testament. The law is beautiful, but fearsome. It is awesome, but intimidating. Because in the law we see the perfect holiness of God – His character, His purposes. We see the standard by which we can be holy and stand before a holy God.

And…we see how we fall short. James reminds us that “whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.” (James 2:10). If we slip up just once, we are guilty of it all. And who can say they have never slipped? Who can say they have never transgressed the law in any point? No one can say that! And this should make us all tremble. In our culture, the word “sin” is like a four-letter curse word. We prefer to talk of “mistakes” or “shortcomings” – but the Word calls it what it is – sin. And this sin puts us in emnity with God. We are lawbreakers. All of us. There is no distinction.

Now, you may ask, what is so beautiful about that? Well, on the face of it, nothing. But here is where it the beauty arises out of the ashes of our sin – the law, and our inability to keep it, points us to the One who can keep it, and who can save us from the hopelessness of being lawbreakers before a holy and righteous God.

Read these beautiful words:

But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus. (3:21-26 NIV)

The law point us to Christ. It is a tutor, a guide (Galatians 3:23-25) that leads us to the only hope we have. Through His life, Christ fulfilled all righteousness; and because He was sinless, holy and blameless, He became the perfect sacrifce for we who have broken that law, because He didn’t have to offer any sacrifice for Himself (cf. Hebrews 7:26-28). His death paid the penalty for our lawbreaking – His resurrection justifies, reconciles and gives us peace with God, and the glorious gift of eternal life.

This is Gospel 101 – but how easy it is for us to forget. We cannot add anything to this – all we can do is receive it. Our lives will reflect glories of His grace – it is not what we do that commends us to God. It is what He is done for us. This is our hope, this is our sure foundation.

It is appropriate that I ponder these things as I walk through this journey toward holy, biblical womanhood (which, I have not abandoned…). It is easy for me to look at my life, look at my sin, look at my failures and lose hope. But my hope is in the One who redeemed me by His blood; who by His Spirit dwells within me. The same power with which Christ was raised now resides in me (Ephesians 1:19-20). And it is He would will complete the work He has begun in me. And is this not true of all who call on the name of the Lord? How glorious is His grace!

More later…

Grace and peace…

Grains of wheat and stuff like that…

Day Two: Proverbs 31 and the counter-cultural woman…

Okay, things are get way too uncomfortable right about now…and I’m only on the second day!! Oh well, what did I expect really?

It seems I am working backwards in this passage of Scripture, but that’s okay…I’ll go with it. Most people who know me will know that this works well with my personality…wink, wink. But as I read through the chapter tonight, I rested once again on the “fear of the Lord” being the mark of a truly beautiful woman. For the woman described in this passage, her motivation to honor God with her life is what drives her to live such a noteworthy life. And this motivation drives her to service. She serves because she loves – she “does not eat the bread of idleness” (v. 27).

The direct context of this verse has to do with the “ways of her household”. What does that mean for me? 1. Taking care of the home I have been given; 2. Loving the people God has placed in my life and will place in my life; 3. Being fully engaged in my job; 4. Becoming more responsible with my money (that’s a mouthful…more on that later…); 5. Utilizing the gifts and talents God has given me.

What struck me most about this woman is her work ethic. She labors in love for her family and then for others. As a single woman, I do not have a family in the sense of a husband and children, but I can labor in love for my family (parents, brother, etc.), my co-workers, my friends, and those around me that need to be loved.

This woman is not selfish. She thinks of others before herself. My pastor spoke of this in his sermon on Sunday: The Christian life does not work unless you give it away. In John 12:24 our Lord reminds us: “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies it remains alone; if it dies it bears much fruit”. In today’s reading, Nancy Leigh DeMoss spoke of the message of this world – it’s all about self-fulfillment. What’s in it for me? How can I make myself more comfortable? How can I get what I want? If I can do that, then I’ll be happy – I’ll have peace and fulfillment. But it’s all a lie; this focus on self only makes us miserable. It is only when we give ourselves to serving the Lord and loving other people that we truly find peace and joy.

So, the question I’m left with tonight is a hard one: What must I die to in order to live more fully?

Lord – I pray that You would make this plain to me. Help me to see my life – my relationships, my job, my family, my finances, my time, my talents – through Your eyes. Give me a greater vision of how to live and love as You have called. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

More later…

Grace and peace…

Breathing in the fresh air…

As has been evidenced by my lack of blogging, I have been dry as a bone in terms of my writing. I have been walking through a process of reconnecting with the Lord, and this time of silence has been to that end. The well of words just hasn’t been flowing lately…

Now, this is an abrupt break to what has been previously posted on my blog, but I feel the need to share where I’ve been in the last few months.

I am, as some of my dear friends lovingly say, a nerd. I love a good intellectual pursuit. And I have this tendency to tackle just about anything from this intellectual starting point. I am in many ways so grateful that the Lord has wired me this way. I take great joy and learning, and then turning around and sharing those things the Lord has been gracious enough to teach me. But there comes a point when I take things a bit too far and begin to depend too much on this pursuit to the point of excluding the very Person I am pursuing. The intimacy I once had has slowly slipped away.

But my intellect is quite small, actually. And compared to the infinite knowledge of my Lord, it is nothing. I say this not to disparage myself – but to make an honest assessment and humbly place myself under the authority of His power and omniscience. This is indeed the safest place to be.

As I walk through this process of rebuilding this intimacy, I am comforted by these truths:

…God is not restricted by who I think He is.

…God is who He says He is, not necessarily what I believe about Him. In other words, if I believe wrong things about God, He does not cease to be who He is because my vision of Him is cloudy.

Earlier this month, I had the privilege of attending the women’s retreat for the church I attended in the Chicago area when I lived there. Before I knew I was moving, I was asked to lead worship for this retreat. So I returned to do just that. Admittedly, I was so unsure if I would be able to do it – my spiritual condition was tentative at best. But I committed myself, and I prayed the Lord would use this commitment to work in my heart. He did not disappoint.

The theme of the retreat was “Changed By an Unchanging God”. In an almost prophetic way, Carol Jenkins, our speaker stated the following:

“We must let go of our mistaken ideas of who we think God is…freedom, hope and joy are in knowing who God is.” Knowing who God has revealed Himself to be in His Word. And who He shows Himself to be in our lives. “Knowledge of God leads to better understanding, but experiencing Him leads to trust.” I trust Him as I experience Him in my life. I need both. And my pursuit has been very one-sided. I have sought knowledge of God without seeking the experience of Him. And this has left me wanting…starving is more like it!

I cannot know God exhaustively, but I can know Him because He has revealed Himself to me. That aspect of Him that I can apprehend through my intellect is most comfortable for me because I can control it. The core of this pursuit has been the idol of control. I grip this idol because it feels safe. But the reality is it is the most precarious place I can be.

It is that which is beyond my understanding – His ways that are past knowing – that is most comforting. The truth of the matter is I have no real control. The control I think I have is an illusion. Even that which I can know of Him is knowable because He wills it and enables me to comprehend. In those places where my lack of control is most glaring, I am reminded that all that I have and all that I know ultimately and only comes from His hand. And as I release my grip on this imaginary control, I can fall back into the truth of his all-knowing, all-powerful hands…and rest.