I have drifted back into silence again…mainly because the things I have been pondering lately as it pertains to this journey through my True Woman meditations has been deeply personal. And, my golden rule: I never get too personal on my blog, unless directed by the Lord. He has not so directed me; thus, my silence.

But I did have a thought today as I was reading and praying that I wanted to share. How do you “wait” well? Because, let’s face it: one constant in the Christian life is the notion of “waiting”. We wait on the Lord – and it is always inevitiably because He works much “slower” than we anticipate or most of the time would want Him to. He rarely works on the same timetable as we do - although, as I heard many times over growing up in the church, “He may not come when we want Him to, but He’s always on time!” How true that is – and how I appreciate that more and more as I grow in my relationship with the Lord.

When I consider this idea of waiting, one word comes to mind: patience. Let me state the obvious for those who know me well: patience is not a strength for me. And when I pray for it, I’m always in for a bumpy ride – because God always answers our prayers for patience with something that will try us. Patience does not grow in times of ease – patience must be tested and tried in the fire to be refined. And so, you are asking for it in spades when you pray for patience! But, it is indeed a characteristic of the fruit of the Spirit, and so it is in there – we must cooperate with the Lord as He seeks to bring it to full bloom in our lives.

Back to this question of waiting well…the fruit of patience must be allowed to grow in my life if I am to wait well. This hearkens back to what I wrote about meekness and humility – patience and waiting imply bowing the knee. Accepting God’s will, God’s timing, and God’s ways as good – as best actually – for the given situation in which I find myself waiting. Because He can see much more clearly than I – He has the totality of the situation in view, whereas I can only see the moment in which I am existing. And from His view He knows better than I what I need and when I need it. He also knows the purposes for which He is calling me to wait.

This is all well and good, but how do I go about being patient, meek and humble in those times of silence and waiting? What I finally rested on is that it is a simple matter of trust. Trusting the Lord’s heart; trusting His goodness; trusting His will. Trusting that He is sovereign, He is holy, He is righteous, He is pure…and He will withhold no good thing from me as His child. Also knowing that His purpose for me is holiness, not happiness (although, it is in that pursuit of holiness that I will find true, lasting happiness; but that’s a topic for another day…)…and He will do what He knows will bring about that result.

And hasn’t He done so for me so many times before? Remembering and meditating on the goodness of God will help me wait well…

So, when I find myself in those moments of impatience; when I’m throwing a temper tantrum and wagging my finger at the Lord saying, “Father, when…Father, why…”; I must ask myself if I am trusting Him in that moment. The answer is always no! I want what I want and I want it NOW! And really, if I were honest, now is not soon enough for me because my impatience is born of the idea that I should have gotten my way ages ago! How grateful I am that the Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. How grateful I am that the Lord is long-suffering (the KJV phrase for patience – I love that!) – because He certainly suffers long with me!

And when I have finished, and I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, exhausted and nearly hyperventilating from crying so hard, eyes puffy and make up gone, I am usually amazed by the Lord’s response. He doesn’t point out to me how ridiculous I look (because most of the time, it’s quite a pitiful sight!). He gently and lovingly reminds me that if I wait on Him, it will be okay. He gently calls to my mind those times and those ways He has done so before, and assures me that He will do so again.

Now, there is a certain element of melodrama to that description, but it is true that I can indeed throw “temper tantrums” with the Father. And one of the things I love so much about the Lord is how gently He restores me when I get to this place. He picks me back up, and reminds me that He is Lord and Father, and I can trust Him. His way is best; He loves me, and is working all things for my good. He is working, even though I cannot see it. And I just have to…………wait.

More later…

Grace and peace…